Puppy Love
by Otaku Samurai
Summary: Uryu would have never expected Orihime at his doorstep, sincerely asking for him for help. And the help she had requested? Pet-sitting a stray dog for three long days. What. The. Hell. //slight IshiHime//
1. Out of the Blue, it Leaps! Dammit!

**Haha, well this was a random idea I came up with the other day. I don't know if it has been written yet regarding IshiHime, but I'm sorry if it has and it seems as if I'm "copying" or anything. Honestly, I haven't been reading any IshiHime fics lately. Anyway—woo disclaimers!—**I do not own Bleach**. If I did, Ishida would probably get mentally traumatized. Hehe.**

* * *

He couldn't help but exhale out an abjectly desperate sigh—one in which ultimately expressed the contrite display of his uttermost exasperation.

It _was _a seemingly normal day—yet Uryu would have never expected Orihime pleadingly at his lone doorstep. The sun _was _a mild sunny yellow and the limitless white clouds were out—yet Uryu would have never expected Orihime asking him, of all people, for help.

And it _was _a peaceful Sunday afternoon of extreme relaxation, with no school and, weirdly enough, no hollows—yet what Uryu never, _ever _would have expected was Orihime asking him to take care of a random stray puppy for three days.

Indeed, a _puppy_.

What. The. Hell.

He wouldn't ever deny her help—besides, how _could _he with such a cute face like hers?—but this was just...

...out of the question.

* * *

Orihime had knocked on his door, and he had opened it hesitantly, yet warmly with heart aflutter, to her, but the _thing _on the ground at her feet instantly caught his keen blue gaze. _A dog_. Uryu eyed it suspiciously, and the hideous beast returned the glare with its own cautiously animalistic skeptical stare.

"Um, I'm really sorry to bother you Ishida-kun, but...uh, I need your help."

Help, hm? Well, Uryu was her man.

He mentally chuckled.

_I like how that sounds._

"What would be the problem, Inoue-san?" He glanced down at the creature, then back into her compassionate gray eyes. They tragicomically melted him into a gallantly Quincy-fied white and blue puddle. Oh, she voraciously sucked him into her little whirlpool of utter incognizant Hime cuteness and he was already wrapped around her fair finger—this he knew. _Damn_. Mentally pointing at the little beast, he just hoped that her "issue" did not include that _thing_ there sitting on the ground, staring up at him—it's little beady eyes agleam with a nervous tension.

"You're the first person I came to...and..."

Uryu rose a sleek black eyebrow. First, huh? He grinned, and he wasn't short of an ego-boost.

_Inoue-Ishida: one. Inoue-Kurosaki: zero._

His ears instantly pricked to a high pitched noise. Consequently, it was a little whine from the animal at her side, and he nonchalantly glanced down at that beast once more. His once romantically optimistic thoughts were now pessimistically rained down upon by the pathetic noises emitting from the grungy heathen at her foot and his doorstep. Dammit all! He was in a happy place!

Uryu regained mental composure and even smiled lightly. "Yes?"

Orihime took a sharp intake of air, ready to elaborate in all but one breath.

"Ishida-kun, well...okay, so, I found this dog here," she pointed down at it, but it continued mad-dogging (haha pun) up at him, "in a box near the automatic door to the supermarket today and he looked so cute"—narrowing his eyes, Uryu quickly thought otherwise—"but he didn't have a collar or anything, and he looked so lonely by himself, and I figured he was a stray. And...I sort of...took him with me because he looked hungry. And so..."

Uryu didn't like where this conversation was going, only because he _knew _where this conversation was going. So, he decidedly chose to play dumb. Well, for him, "dumb" never applied to anything he did or said, but, ah, what the hell. It was always a first for everything, right?

With his eyes shielded by the bright glare of his glasses, he looked down at her.

Uryu sounded reluctant.

"Inoue-san...how exactly does this apply to me?"

Upon hearing the immediate question, Orihime pursed her lips shyly, and slightly glanced her gray eyes away. She modestly nibbled on her bottom lip, while scrunching her eyebrows together as if she was seriously contemplating something important—which she was, technically. He veraciously hoped it _was _important, and that didn't regard that _animal _at her side; already exasperated, he inwardly sighed as Orihime started to speak while stroking an imaginary goatee with a perplexed air.

His fate was already written out—and he was smitten with her.

"Um, I was wondering if...you could take care of him for a few days."

And with that, she smiled and humbly tilted her head to the side.

"Ehhhhh."

Okay, _now _he sounded dumb—and it was almost humorous.

He gulped, and his heart abnormally skipped a needy beat. A few days? Why couldn't she take care of it—or _him_, as she said—herself? Why a dog? He didn't even _like _dogs! Where would it sleep? What would it eat? Where would the mangy thing relieve itself?! And it had to be walked?—even shown some type of affection to? Did Uryu look like the kind of person to take care of an animal that looked like it, if it could, would assassinate him mercilessly in his sleep?

For reasons unknown, that little dog held a deep vendetta for him, and Uryu could _sense _it.

Orihime read the mixed expressions on his blanched, bespectacled face. Pleadingly contrite, she grasped her hands together in front of her chest...which he couldn't help but perversely glance at—and his rationality clicked in. His dark blue eyes snapped back up to meet her own sincere gray ones. The _hell _was the matter with him?—Uryu silently chastised himself, while mentally slapping himself in the face.

_Ugh, dumb-ass, looking at her—_

"Oh, please, Ishida-kun! I can't take care of him right now, but just for two or three days! I promise he's not bad, and he doesn't bite!—well, ok, not _a lot _anyway—but, he's really friendly once he gets used to you. See, look! I only have a few bites!"

She rose her left hand up, and lo and behold, it was covered in dry bloodstained band-aids.

Uryu's eyes dilated.

"Inoue-san!—How could you just pick up a stray from the street as it bites you, and then take it home—er, to _my _home? And, I-Inoue-san, did you even mind to _disinfect_ any of those cuts before you put bandages over them?"

Despite the deep fondness—love, he would later conclude—he felt for her, he still couldn't believe some of the irrelevant things she managed to achieve so blindly. By bringing that apparently _biting _beast—and no doubt it was full of fleas and other untouchable vermin—to his doorstep, those infectious viral cuts under the band-aids layered over her fingers could be harboring the thick prolific roots of...

_...rabies..._

Uryu's heart almost stopped.

She sensed, if not obviously saw, his paralyzed shock. But, she bounced back with a hearty laugh. She was extremely resilient, of course.

"Oh, yeah, I did. You're really silly, Ishida-kun, you don't have to worry! I used those little moist sanitized towel thingies...y'know, the ones for the handles of the shopping carts! They kinda burned...and somehow I managed to get one in my eye, but yeah, I'm clean!"

Uryu's left eye twitched.

_She is...'clean'?_

Orihime punched the air triumphantly, causing him to slightly jump and blush at the cheeks. The latter, he didn't really know why. Most things he never knew after Orihime had her irrelevant ways with them.

Well nonetheless, that had calmed him. Enough, anyway. Uryu was content that she used _some _type of sanitation, though he would mentally note to remember to invite her into his apartment and have her thoroughly wash her hands, while actually use some cleansing hydrogen peroxide (haha horrible Bleach pun), and then re-bandage her poor, poor fingers.

Uryu gulped silently, and his current situation regressed back—back, to that furry beast.

Orihime looked up at him modestly, and even if he thought it, and even if he could convince himself to deny her request, he _couldn't_. Oh, he failed ever so horribly as he stood gazing at her as she bobbed up and down on the heels of her feet. He gulped again. He would _never _have labeled himself as a pervert before he had formally started to "hang out" with her...but now...as she swayed up and down continuously in front of him so carelessly...Uryu's dark blue eyes traveled lower than they probably should have...

_Gah! Dammit! No, no, no!— _

"So...Ishida-kun..." Her speech was slow and inquisitive, and it was almost tantalizing as it entered his acute ears, bringing him back to the present. "...could you...take care of him? Just until Wednesday?"

"A-Ah...?"

He opened his mouth—no doubt sounding like an idiot again—but he immediately closed it, attempting to register his running thoughts.

_Yes, of course Inoue-san_, or, _That would be fine, Inoue-san, but only until Wednesday_. Or even a random totally out of character, _Hell yeah, babe, only for you!_

Uryu instantly cringed at the latter, but he finally got his mouth moving, and connected the two formers. Starkly, he was _so _pathetic...he cleared his throat submissively.

"Yes of course, Inoue-san, that would be...fine—but only until Wednesday, as you said. However, I have some questions regarding the..._dog_."

Dog. Oh, how that word pained him.

Orihime seemed happy at this, and he noticed—the only reason why he _could _was because her arms instantly wrapped around him in the tightest hug he had ever been constricted with in his life. Though mentally, he did leap for joy—she had never hugged him before, or rather, gave him any physical affection...well, there was that _one time_ she had congratulatory slapped his ass after scoring a touchdown in their school's coed Physical Education version American football, much like those sportsmanlike Americans did after scoring points or winning...but that was another story in itself—one he actually _didn't _want to think, talk, or imagine. But, just to put it lightly, it freaked the _hell _out of him.

Withal—yet now slightly perturbed—he was still happy. He grinned crookedly.

_Inoue-Ishida: two. Inoue-Kurosaki: zero._

"Yay! Alrighty Ishida-kun, ask away! Thank you sooooo much, you're so amazing,"—heh, _amazing_ she says—"oh, I'll have to thank you some other way somehow, but, oh, yes! Questions! Please, whatever you need to know!"

He sighed lightly—lightly enough not to reveal more of his exasperation, or even any of his smitten-ness—and began to choose one of many questions to ask the compassionate girl who just picked up random animals off the street due to the goodness of her big heart. He began with the more practical one.

"Does it—_he_—have a name?" More reluctance emitted from his lips.

This time, she didn't have an immediate answer.

"...I...don't really know. He didn't have a collar, like I said...and he didn't really respond to any of the names I came up with, though he did wag his cute little tail when I came up with 'Little Salmon Sailboat-kun'...but I honestly don't think that's his name. But he's just a puppy so...uhm...you can name him if you want to! Yeah, I really owe it to you!"

Oh yes, and Uryu _wanted to die_. No, she didn't owe _anything _to him—but she looked so happy standing there with that little heathen! Damn everything all to hell...

"Uh, okay, Inoue-san. I will once I find the, eh, perfect name"—_just anything to make her happy_, he kept telling himself, _it will all be over soon_—"Alright, then there are some other things I need to ask—" he paused, then continued after she motioned a cheerful smiled at him, "—do you have any food for him?"

"Oh, yes, about that," Uryu braced himself for another one of her stories, but he couldn't help but softly smile, "so, I was on my way to the market to buy some fish paste, salt, peanut butter chocolate chips, soy beans, and pomegranates, and I find the dog, right?"—he nodded in agreement—"So then I said, 'Oh, look, a little dog!', and I go and pet him, and he bites me! He _bit _me Ishida-kun!"

He wanted to reply with a cold _Oh, so should I dispose of it then?_, but kept his mouth shut, knowing that it would probably hurt her feelings if she were to find out how vehement he felt against the little thing at her feet. Though, he couldn't help but empathize with the animal—it was rather _overwhelming _with Orihime bounding towards you head-on; he would know how it felt.

"...But it was alright—I found those towel things remember?"—he nodded again—"and then I noticed that he was all alone, so I decided that I would take him home with me. I've always wanted a pet, and ever since I was about five years old I've wanted a dog, but I only had this make-believe beta fishy—wait, oh yeah, you wanted to know about food, sorry Ishida-kun—he looked really really hungry, so I went into the store to buy something to eat, but then, well...oh, I'm so horrible!"

Orihime looked down, somewhat ashamedly. And Uryu, for once, didn't know what to do. Comfort her? Was he even allowed to do that? He looked around at their surroundings—they were still outside, at his doorstep, and he wondered how long they had been standing out there together. Even though he already detested the animal that was so quietly sitting there—no doubt it was hungry—his gentle side went into overdrive.

Yes, outside his frozen exterior, Ishida Uryu was a nice person. It was just that nobody was ever there long enough to chip off the ice fused to his shoulders—especially since when after he would help someone, he normally just told them to go away. But...Orihime was a different story.

"Yes, Inoue-san? Then what?—" Uryu's voice was soft, then interrupted; her head shot up and met his eyes. What she said next instantly brought pity upon the little dog at her heels.

"Ishida-kun, I spend all of my food money on the vending machine!"

And that killed it. How much could a person spend on one of those things? But it was very Orihime—he couldn't deny _that_, of all things. She was so harebrained! But he did always love that about her...

"So...that means he doesn't have food?"

That was the original question, right?

She frowned in self disappointment, tightly pressing her full lips together in a negative tilt at both sides, with eyebrows scrunched.

"...no."

Alright then. He couldn't fight things, but just flow with them. This was one of the many lessons one learned with Orihime as such a close friend. Damn. He inwardly cringed. Ouch. _Close _and _friend _in one sentence that contained _Orihime _hurt.

"That's fine, Inoue-san, it's fine...I'll just have to...find something."

"Ishida-kun, thank you! You're so sweet! I know it's pretty stupid wasting money on vending machines, but there was this really cool little keychain thingy and I really wanted it but it was at the top and...oh yeah, another question?"

"This one regards sleeping arrangements—" Instantly, his brain conscientiously regained a memory, and began to check off his mental note, "Oh, yes, before I get into that, please, I think we should continue this inside. Um, and, I guess..."

Uryu was going to hate himself for this—as well, so would his flawless, stainless carpet.

"..._he _can come inside."

He couldn't help but exhale out an abjectly desperate sigh—one in which ultimately expressed the contrite display of his _uttermost _exasperation.

* * *

**Ah snap, Quincy Archer is a perv! (dude I don't even know if this is even fully IshiHime) He is so hopeless though xD**

**I was getting bored so I cut the chapter off, mah bad. I dunno know how often I will update this...it's just like a side-project of mine, but I'll see what I can do. **Please review! Would be greatly appreciated! **Tell me if it had typos, grammatical errors, OoC-ness, and the like. Or just tell me it flat-out sucked. It's all good. Criticism is fun. Kinda. **_**Not really**_**. Please tell me if it was *more-or-less* funny. I'm getting back into my humor side :D**


	2. Day 1: Anger

**Hum. So this fic is totally ridiculous. Like, I'm having an exceptionally **_**horrible**_** amount of fun writing, but it's just so ridiculous. Well, this chapter is, anyway. I really liked the previous one—it was hilarious. This one is "ehhhh", but hey, that's just me. Though, I am pretty ridiculous—maybe kinda funny too :D**

* * *

Their eyes locked. One pair smirked. One navy blue eyed pair widened significantly.

_Bu-bump, bu-bump._

The animal lifted a leg.

_Oh..._

His heart almost stopped.

He attempted to open his mouth—to stop the heinous act from being committed, to vehemently chastise the _beast_, the _heathen_.

_...no. _

He gulped dryly.

But...it was too late.

Uryu could see the puddle formation seeping darkly through his carpet.

Behind his glimmering rectangular lenses, his dark, navy blue eyes burned ardently with such an icy passion, with such a frosty, sub-zero gaze, that it was almost as if his eyelids were frozen open within his head. His fine, hard mouth was partially gaped open, partially clenched at the jaw. He breathed in heavily through his nostrils, and then heavily out through his clenched teeth—his heart beat rapidly, almost skipping intervals with every heave of his finely toned chest.

His low blood pressure was now a thing of the distant past.

Uryu locked eyes with the mangy beast. He didn't even dare to avert his basilisk gaze from the animal—the damn thing had _relieved_ itself on his floor for the _fifth time_ in the _last two hours_.

What. The. Hell!

He sighed in his anger, swallowing his utter vexation with one rational breath—this was peculiar. This scenario, this experience, this damned _thing_ angered him so much more than any other _thing_. Okay, well, no, scratch that. Dishonoring chivalry, dishonoring any woman? That clearly pissed him off the most. Preying on the weak? That pissed him off too. Those three things, oh, those were his firm convictions that he lived by—it was in his pride, in his honor. Placed in the bottom two slots of his 'Top Five List of Anger' hierarchy were soul reapers (Ichigo and his dumb ass) and the beast (Orihime's stray _dog_). And at the frozen moment recorded hellishly in time, and of the bottom two, he didn't know which exactly pissed him off more.

Grinding his teeth, Uryu finally blinked and the animal snidely padded away from its mess after its little "moment". Sighing angrily, Uryu immediately whipped out his cleaning supplies—ah yeah, Mr. Clean and all of his bald-headed goodness—and got to his tedious work. Spraying a mist of carpet-cleaner on the newly acquired stain, he reverted back into ponder about his current plight. He almost groaned in vexation—it was up to him to train the beastly creature currently residing his apartment. And it was only day one. The friction formed from rubbing the carpet against the towel he was using was almost as hot as his perturbed persona.

Hell no, Uryu wasn't inhumane or anything—that was a secondary part of his convictions: not to hurt animals—but honestly, what was there to prove in hurting anything of a secondary race? Nothing, dammit, and he just didn't understand some people.

He really just didn't like _dogs_. That was is, and there wasn't much to it. Just a plain fact. Or opinion. He held no grudge, no personal vendetta—unlike the beast walking away from him—Uryu just didn't like the canine species. "Must love _dogs_"? Whoever coined that term (or whatever the hell) was just plainly mentally deficient and needed to be euthanized.

But, it was for _her_, Orihime, and Uryu would smugly shake hands with cold Death just to save her life, let alone cause her any means of happiness.

Oh _damn_, he was a hopeless fool. He gulped in retrospect.

The only crappy thing that totally screwed him over was that he didn't have a yard, the beast didn't have a leash, nor did it didn't have food, or did it really have a bed (makeshift pillows and an old blanket didn't count), nor did it really have any affection _from_ Uryu. Orihime, _yes_, Uryu, _no_. Yet, for this, he started feeling the gut wrenching pains of guilt, almost cowardice, for not holding any affection _whatsoever_ for the dirty animal, but he had a somewhat legitimate reason as to why. It was a ridiculous theory, but he psychologically analyzed the possibilities, partially from common sense, and partially from his own deep intellect on appearances.

He clenched his jaw at the thought.

Finally done scrubbing his once beautifully flawless dark blue carpet, Uryu stood up, dejected and with an exasperated sigh, and quickly scanned his living room for the beast. His dark blue eyes locked with the animal's once more; Uryu was standing on one side of the room, and the beast was sitting at his far opposite.

His theory instantly came into play, and it was peculiar—in a bad way.

The _dog_ had cold, blue eyes.

The _dog_ had black, sleek fur.

The _dog_ was completely unsociable, completely stoic, and always seemed to be keen with what was totally around it.

And, to make matters worse, the _dog_ only seemed to appear truly happy when it was around Orihime. As well, when it was with her as she'd ramble on, the _dog_ would obviously appear confused and flustered—yet totally consumed with Orihime's aura in a positive aspect. However, when she had left his apartment, the _dog_ immediately regressed back to its reserved state as soon as Uryu's door closed: stoic, cold, unresponsive, and ultimately defensive.

_What the hell._

It was just borderline _freaky_; the _dog_ also looked like a hybrid of German shepherd and some other Japanese breed—like a Kai Ken, or something along those lines.

_Damn it all..._

Yet...he couldn't help but wonder...

Did the dog remind Orihime of him somehow? Is that why she thought it was so cute?—because it reminded her of him, Ishida Uryu? He grinned a little too smugly. Heh...yeah, maybe—_waitadamnedminute_.

The beast was left in a box, obviously abandoned and obviously rejected by whoever previously owned it. So was it a damn coincidence that Uryu's family lines dovetailed from both Germany and Japan? So was it a damn coincidence that the _dog's_ family lines paralleled his? So was it a damn coincidence that Uryu was stoic, cold, unresponsive and ultimately defensive? So was it a damn coincidence that the _dog's_ personality paralleled his? So was it a _damn coincidence_ that his life was going to be _total hell_ until Wednesday and that Uryu was asking himself _too many damned rhetorical questions_?

Oh damn, maybe, besides thinking that it was "cute", Orihime also felt an undeniably gargantuan amount of pity for it? Pity for _it_ meant pity for _him_! How could Uryu bear anything of the sort—wait, what the hell, no. No, no, no, no, no.

That was ridiculous.

_This is so menial._

He was juxtaposing himself to an animal.

A _dog_.

Plus, he was complaining. To himself. That alone was worth pity enough.

Dejected once more, Uryu sighed and combed a strong hand through his fine black hair.

Well, it surely wasn't like him to freak out like this, though he couldn't help but get so skeptical. For one, (this was _random_), it was out of the blue—irony was that he liked blue, but at the moment he _hated_ it—two, (this was _obvious_), but he didn't like _dogs_, and three, the _dog_ didn't even have any necessities to start with! Yes, Uryu probably liked Orihime a little more than he should have, but he would do anything for her—so he was predestined to be a total sucker for her.

_Ugh._

Like he would get anywhere with her though—Uryu **had the reaction time of a sequoia tree, and he deserved to get kicked in the face. Why couldn't things just automatically get sweet and snugly and work out? Gah, that's just not how life worked! Maybe in some horrible work of fiction written by some dumb-ass sappy teenager, but no, life was not as easy as some perceived it!

Especially Uryu; his life was sort of—

The beast whined, and he whipped his head towards the hideous noise. He raised a sleek black eyebrow as he clenched his jaw in a scowl.

—complicated.

If this dog theoretically did, in fact, contain a personality within its fleabag exterior, then Uryu would suspect that it was scowling back at him. Huh. Alright then.

The animal, now standing suspiciously, sniffed around; Uryu's heart almost stopped at the abruptness of it all. He instantly played on the defense.

"Oh no you don't, there is no _way_ you could possibly have the need to—!"

The beast roamed around in a little half-circle, still sniffing the carpet, now the air, but it quickly sat back down as Uryu came within two paces.

The dog instantly played on the defense as well.

The black hair on its back bristled up in opposition—its teeth bared in an antagonistic growl. Uryu quickly stopped his movements, and, with hands up to his chest, he slowly backed up, careful not to initiate any casualties in the red zone. Well, for one, he wasn't going to hurt it—though, no trust was enforced, so of course it was going to be hostile.

At this, he finally grinned.

_Yes, maybe it _is_ a little like me in some ways...interesting. It's almost like..._

Uryu was back at his side of the room, but he wasn't as downcast as he once was. The animal lost its intensity, and reverted back to its sniffing. Suddenly, it sat back down, and whined once more—and Uryu instantly knew what was wrong with it.

Indeed, it reminded him of his friendship-rivalry with Ichigo. And that, Uryu figured, was the most peculiar.

* * *

"_Uryu! Eat lunch with us."_

"_Ishida?! But...why?! He'll suck all the joy out of it! It's the bandages, isn't it?! He looks funny, huh?!"_

_A scowl. _

"_No thanks!"_

_Another scowl. _

"_C'mon, don't be a jerk. Keigo's buying."_

_He adjusted his glasses. _

"_...Okay!"_

"_Freeloader!"_

* * *

Finally, Uryu chuckled out loud, causing the _dog_ to tilt its head and prick its ears at the sudden outburst. It eyed him suspiciously, almost questioning Uyru's lighthearted attitude with an animalistic skepticism.

"You're hungry, aren't you?"

At last, Uryu saw its tail begin to wag.

The Quincy sighed, but he continued to crookedly smile. He really did need to come up with a name for that heathen—"it" wasn't going to cut it. And, he did promise Orihime that he'd take care of the animal—for better, or for worse. Until those three days were finished, he'd honor his promise, and even stop with his own whining—just for her.

"I'll see if I have anything appropriate. If not, we will need to take a quick trip to the store. Hm. Only if you had a leash..."

Their eyes locked. One pair questioned. One navy blue eyed pair continued to grin.

* * *

**So I probably should have edited a little more. Maybe I will. Maybe not. This chapter is relatively short...if any of you noticed, I got some parts of this from an episode of **_**The Nanny**_**. *shrug* **Please review! Would be greatly appreciated! Please list typos (etc) if you find any! **I hope you all had a wonderful holiday! My Christmas was kinda random—I got a duct-tape wallet, five dollars, an ounce of silver, and a surfboard xD**

****yes, you know who you are**


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